The Pocket Site

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar… and the coffee…

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes.”

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things-your God, your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favourite passions-things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.The sand is everything else-the small stuff.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.” Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

10 Things No One Tells You About Parenthood…

nough said ;P

Travis Eneix has a really interesting blog about making stories and individual meaning/interpretation,

The mechanism of meaning making is vitally important to our survival, as individuals and as a species. It is not to be shunned. Rather, it is to be recognized, and kept in perspective for what it is: a useful tool. When it become more than that, when it become a replacement, and substitute, for reality the tool becomes a poison.

Stuff recently published an article about the international Mens Health Week. In an interview with the Australian branch of Mensline, they discussed how mens counselling is often quite different in nature from womens counselling, a fact that can often be overlooked. They went on to say that “Men are also more comfortable with the anonymity of telephone counselling, … There’s still a lot of shame associated with face to face counselling, and men have difficulty acknowledging that they’re not coping.” Having been in an emotionally trying time myself, its good to know that I’m not the only one who has difficulty expressing and confronting such issues. Problem solving is not always the best way to deal.

While I havn’t availed myself of their service, its nice to know that they are there as a kind of backstop if we need it http://www.mensline.org.nz/

After a while…

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn…

Veronica A. Shoffstall